Survivor Palau is over, and it’s time for my second report card ever. The grades will be based on how they fared, and did they give themselves a chance to win. I’ll also throw in a personal comment on how I feel about the player

Angie: B: Excellent competitor, was key in two reward challenges. Loved her attitude, and came out of nowhere to actually not get eliminated first. Too bad her tribe sucked, or else she could have gone far.

Ashlee: F-: You sucked. You’re pathetic. But at least you’re not lonely.

Bobby Jon: B-: He gave himself a great chance to win. Was the leader of the worst tribe in history, but went against a genetic freak in Tom. I give him credit because he never got voted off, and had he beat Stephanie in the fire challenge, he could have went a round farther then Stephanie. I wish he would have won that challenge

Caryn: D-: You blew it!! Like Probst said to you, you were #5 and had no allegiance. How could you possibly be voted off?? You also had a chance to join an all woman alliance, and didn’t do it. Because just like Katie said, you sucked. You let Tom and Ian use you as your pawn. It grabbed you an extra three days, but you should have been in final three.

Coby: F: What was an A turned into an F in one fell swoop. I grade based on how you fared, and did you give yourself a chance to win. While you made the jury, everyone on Koror made the jury with the exception of the old mute guy! You were in total control, were a great competitor and a likable guy. Until you lost your mind, decided a donut was more important than competition, and became a complete jerk to everybody. While you didn’t quit, you did stop playing. And you cant in this game.

Gregg: C: Should never have won that challenge. I hate losing on purpose, but it’s the one challenge where you don’t want to win. Then he takes Jenn AND Katie. He should have brought Tom, to make sure the obvious that happened, wouldn’t have.

Ian: F-: What the hell?? Do you think Katie would have quit for you? You have your dignity, but your Tom’s Prag. If you don’t know what Prag is, it’s slang for Prison B..ch. I guarantee, Tom or Katie wouldn’t have jumped for you.

Ibrehem: C: I’m glad you got immunity the time Koror voted for you. You didn’t deserve to go, James did. I wish Angie would have stayed. But you fought hard each week and showed yourself well. However how you didn’t get Bobby Jon to vote for Stephanie, was an indictment on her will over yours.

James: C: Terrible physical player, had no right yelling at Ibrehem because he was 1000 times better than you. You cant shoot or fight, but what irks me is you gave up in that great water challenge with the bags of weight on your back. Had you made it further, more people would have disliked you. You had no tact, and you need some in Survivor.

Janu: F-: You too are weak and pathetic, and I wouldn’t name a Goldfish after you. Playing Survivor should be an honor, and for you to get a great moment by yourself that you think is life altering is great. But to piss on that experience a day later is incredibly selfish.

Jennifer: B: I know I have the advantage of watching the final product and the players don’t. But I think I’d be smart enough to know not to trust Katie. But still, you gave yourself a chance to win this game. And very few people on Koror did that.

Jeff: FFFFFFF----------: You should not be referred to as, "Coconut Boy." That is an insult to all coconuts everywhere. You are a punk. A baby. A pussycat. But I really didn’t want to use cat. I loathe you. You said you quit for the benefit of the team. How’d that go?

Jolanda: F: I hate to lump your grade with the quitters, because you’re just the opposite. You played too hard. You have my respect, but you’re not very good as a Survivor player.

Jonathan: F: You didn’t get picked, and I don’t know why. But to make absolutely no connection with anybody, is just weird.

Wanda: F: You didn’t get picked, and EVERYBODY knows why. I’m sure you’re a great person, but I wouldn’t have picked you either. Though I wish you did, because you never would have quit and had a good game plan from what I could see during the after game interviews.

Katie: A-: Why did everyone hate her? Because she outplayed them?? She got Ian to quit twice for God sake!! She latched herself onto everyone. If she’s so hated, why did they keep her in their alliance?? I thought for how weak she was physically, she played a great game. She did play just as hard as Tom in her own way. And she had control going into the final four. Rarely has a woman played this well. She used Ian like Jenna Lewis used Rupert in All-Stars. Great game.

Kim: F: I didn’t think you quit, though Jeff hinted that you did. Either way, you were one of the worst "competitors" ever.

Stephanie: A/D so I’m giving you a B-: No girl has ever had more heart than you. And you survived twice because of that. Once with Bobby Jon, and once with Janu. You made Janu quit more than Jeff did. Though that’s really all on Janu. But you had no plan once you got to Koror!! Why in the world didn’t you go to Tom and tell them that the girls wanted to vote him out?!?!? Then go to Caryn and get her on your side! I don’t know if it would have worked, but either do you because you didn’t even try! And jumping into the water for pizza was not only pathetic, but sad and shocking as well. I had a lot more respect for you. And you should have had more confidence in yourself. You could have stood toe to toe with Tom, though he would have won. He proved it because he did win.

Williard: F: I cant even say why. I never heard you say a word and you basically knew you were done and didn’t fight. You too sucked at this game. Koror didn’t need to get rid of their weak, yet they did. Though it wasn’t fair you didn’t get to fight for immunity. Not that you would have won.

Tom: A+++++++: The best ever? Quite possibly. Won more challenges than anyone ever. Used his brain and intimidating ways when needed to. I don’t give out blind compliments to Survivors often. Just look at last year’s winner Chris. Lucky McLucky as I call him. But you sir, deserve every + plus a few more. Boys in casting, Probst, and Burnett please listen. We need more of Tom, and less of Janu. He played to win, and did. And he’s from Long Island!

Jeff Probst: D: What happened guy? You knew Jeff quit, and yet you did nothing. Ugh. You smiled when Janu quit. I know you were happy because it gave Stephanie three more days, but c’mon man! And why in the world didn’t you go to Tribal Council when Ian quit? The jury should have known what happened. And the deal that was struck. And Tom should have taken that walk to write Ian’s name. And Ian should have been given the chance to lay down his torch. It would have been a very interesting tribal. But instead, it wasn’t. You were once great. But haven’t been for awhile. Survivor is an amazing game, and used to have an awesome host. But you play a big role in who wins and loses. You do. Your probing questions are great. And every once in awhile they come back. But not nearly as frequent enough.

Mark Burnett: C: Greatest challenges ever. Wow! Some of these should be staples. Like the wrestling, and the weight on back race. Awesome. But fire the boys in the back with casting.

Casting: FFFFFF------: Ashlee, Jeff, Janu, Ian. All four quit. That’s 20%. Then you have Williard and Coby, who basically quit or didn’t even try to fight. Same with Kim. Terrible.

All in all, I would say a rather weak season. Tom was great, Stephanie was fun for awhile. And Bobby Jon deserved better. But just too many quitters. Way too many.

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